Feels so good to hurt so bad...

Ok... I know I'm being EMO but I don't care anymore! Being one is not wrong at all! Actually being one makes one stronger only in a different and hard way, but stongest among all! We are the noble dark knights (not batman) but something like dark fallen angels trying to get their wings back.

Everytime I'm pushed to a point where I think I might be having a mental break-down like how I'm feeling now, I would find the need to write it all out aspeacially in my blogs.

I have absolutely no idea what is wrong with me this few days. I just have this feeling of sadness and refuse to talk to anyone eventhough it was my best friend that I thought I could talk all day and all night with, just like the times before. I just couldn't and I felt guilty for doing so.

For the whole day today, I've been sitting in front of the telly, on the rocking chair and watching movies as well as other programs that I thought was interesting. I just couldn't do something else. Then, I felt this urge to cry for no reason at all-which I did a few moments ago. I just don't know what my problem is. I'm kinda lost and lonely eventhough I'm home and my parents as well as best friends are here. Yet I feel so isolated from everyone in the world.

Sadness sucks but yet I'm reluctant to let it go. Why am I being like this??? Missery is my companion and somehow owned me in a way. Have I fallen in love with pain and sadness cause everything that happens around me seems to give me nothing but pain and missery! It met me in school and now has followed me to College. Everywhere I go seem to give me nothing but it!

I met a guy that made me happy for awhile and I thought for once, the world has showed me that there are still good decent people out there but it didn't last long. In the end the guy himself became another source of unhapiness to me. I know I'm seen as the freak, crazy, unsociable, dark and hatefull person. I didn't choose to be like this okay! I was changed into that monster thanks to people who don't like to read a book that does not have a shiny, glossy and beautiful cover! If you don't know me then you certainly do not have the right to judge me and see me as that horrible mask you all just put on me.