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HAPPY 2010!!!!!!!!!!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
The end of 2009...
This is the last day of 2009. I still have 45 minutes to go before its the new year. 2010 baby!
This morning I woke up from a dream. I was in my own world again. There was magic, friendship, family and alot of animals... I can't really remember the details but it was in my own world that I have visited several times in my dreams.
As I got on with my day, I looked forward to going out to Sentral and catch a movie with my buddies. Too bad one of my closest friend can't be there so it was only me, Hooi Ling, her sister and another friend of mine. It's been such a long time since I went out and hang around in a group. By 4.30pm, we got tickets to watch Avatar at 6.15pm.
While waiting for the movie, we went to get some bite in McDonald and I can't believe how fast time flies cause before we knew it, it was 6.15 already. I rushed to get popcorn and when we entered the movie theater, we were just in time. The screen was blank, thank God for that.
The movie started... It was amazing! We got theater 4 and the seats was awesome! I actually went into the movie. I was in Pandora! During the destruction of the home of the Na'vi, I could feel the earth shake cause the sound system was totally amazing till the floor and chairs in the theater shook. That really made me enter the movie! The quality was awesome! So clear! Clearer than the cinemas in Penang... I really love the story in the movie!
The Na'vi is all about protecting the nature of their planet. Damn I wish I could be one of them. It will be fun to explore places everyday. Fly! Thats the best part. Haha... I rarely dream of flying but whenever I did dream of flying... It was wonderful! Most of the time I dream of jumping from high places and landing safely. I would even dream of having magical abilities and create fireballs with my hand. My dreams are always out of this world and never normal. Most of the times I would have vampire moves and abilities like crawling up walls or flying... The only normal dreams I have is running away from something. Either it is away from school or from home but the out of this world factors will come in...
15 more minutes to midnight!!! After one door closes, another will open... Another chapter of my life closes and a new chapter will be written... Life goes on... Hello 2010!!!!!!
This morning I woke up from a dream. I was in my own world again. There was magic, friendship, family and alot of animals... I can't really remember the details but it was in my own world that I have visited several times in my dreams.
As I got on with my day, I looked forward to going out to Sentral and catch a movie with my buddies. Too bad one of my closest friend can't be there so it was only me, Hooi Ling, her sister and another friend of mine. It's been such a long time since I went out and hang around in a group. By 4.30pm, we got tickets to watch Avatar at 6.15pm.
While waiting for the movie, we went to get some bite in McDonald and I can't believe how fast time flies cause before we knew it, it was 6.15 already. I rushed to get popcorn and when we entered the movie theater, we were just in time. The screen was blank, thank God for that.
The movie started... It was amazing! We got theater 4 and the seats was awesome! I actually went into the movie. I was in Pandora! During the destruction of the home of the Na'vi, I could feel the earth shake cause the sound system was totally amazing till the floor and chairs in the theater shook. That really made me enter the movie! The quality was awesome! So clear! Clearer than the cinemas in Penang... I really love the story in the movie!
The Na'vi is all about protecting the nature of their planet. Damn I wish I could be one of them. It will be fun to explore places everyday. Fly! Thats the best part. Haha... I rarely dream of flying but whenever I did dream of flying... It was wonderful! Most of the time I dream of jumping from high places and landing safely. I would even dream of having magical abilities and create fireballs with my hand. My dreams are always out of this world and never normal. Most of the times I would have vampire moves and abilities like crawling up walls or flying... The only normal dreams I have is running away from something. Either it is away from school or from home but the out of this world factors will come in...
15 more minutes to midnight!!! After one door closes, another will open... Another chapter of my life closes and a new chapter will be written... Life goes on... Hello 2010!!!!!!
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
An Unexpected Guest
Hmm... Here is something I usually do in my Friendster blog so I'm just bringing forward this post. Due to my insomnia yesterday night, I reminisce about my writing and I found one of my finest essay. I think it is my finest cause it turned out pretty well and it was the first time I ever enjoyed writing an essay for a school examination. Yeah... Another school essay but this time it was not in Convent but in Kampung jambu. I was actually in a very great mood during the exam hence better writing. I can say that it was my favorite memory in Kampung Jambu.
It is best if I stoped yapping and just go straight to the essay. I threw the question paper away so I can only write what the question I chose was all about. "An Unexpected Guest". That was the question and this is the essay:
It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon. The trees were lush with green and the flowers in the garden bloomed with beauty. As I stared out my kitchen window, my heart filled itself with a feeling of pride and I felt a warm breeze of calmness flowing throughout my body.
"Mummy, mummy," I heard Pleuvoir my youngest son calling. I turned around and there he was-standing beside him, a man in his prime, six foot tall with a bright cheerful smile etched on his face-towering over Pleuvoir who was only as tall as my kitchen counters. I stood fixed to the floor as lifeless as a stone statue.
I can't believe its him. After eight years, I thought I would never see him again. I tried to move but I was so confused and the sight of him took my breath away. How could this be possible? It can't be him, it just can't be.
Suddenly, he started to aproach me and I could see his face more clearer now. It was him. I can't deny it anymore. His apple-green eyes burried deep in his forehead, that cute puppy smile I have always love and that sweet face of his. How could I ever forget his features.
Without realising what I was doing, I soon realised that my face was wet with tears and I was hugging the mysterious guest who just entered my house moments ago, without a word spoken. Through my blurry eyes, I saw Pleuvoir running out of the kitchen and up the stairs.
After the embrace, I spoke at last. "I'm so happy to see you again my son. Please forgive me," the tears still running down my cheeks. "No mum, I'm the one who has to apologize and I hope you are willing to forgive me," he spoke with a voice so smooth and low. "I shouldn't have ran away from home after dad left us. I was stupid and foolish to do such a thing without thinking," he continued.
"I was afraid to come home when I heard about Sean's death. It's my fault mum! I should have stayed and taken care of my baby brother, I..." I stoped him there before he could finish talking. "Forget about the past. I have never blamed you for anything. All I ever wanted was for you to come back." I looked into his beautiful green eyes and saw pearly beads of tears falling down his cheeks.
For a moment, we just stared at each other but broke into laughter when Pleuvoir came running into the kitchen with his toy gun and Gooner the dauchshund at his heel.
Okay... Maybe its not that good but its still the finest I've done. At least thats what I'm trying to believe lol. But it has got to be better than my other really outrageous essays that I've posted in my friendster blog before. Well, hope whoever that read this enjoy... And thanks for taking the time to read... :)
It is best if I stoped yapping and just go straight to the essay. I threw the question paper away so I can only write what the question I chose was all about. "An Unexpected Guest". That was the question and this is the essay:
AN UNEXPECTED GUEST
It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon. The trees were lush with green and the flowers in the garden bloomed with beauty. As I stared out my kitchen window, my heart filled itself with a feeling of pride and I felt a warm breeze of calmness flowing throughout my body.
"Mummy, mummy," I heard Pleuvoir my youngest son calling. I turned around and there he was-standing beside him, a man in his prime, six foot tall with a bright cheerful smile etched on his face-towering over Pleuvoir who was only as tall as my kitchen counters. I stood fixed to the floor as lifeless as a stone statue.
I can't believe its him. After eight years, I thought I would never see him again. I tried to move but I was so confused and the sight of him took my breath away. How could this be possible? It can't be him, it just can't be.
Suddenly, he started to aproach me and I could see his face more clearer now. It was him. I can't deny it anymore. His apple-green eyes burried deep in his forehead, that cute puppy smile I have always love and that sweet face of his. How could I ever forget his features.
Without realising what I was doing, I soon realised that my face was wet with tears and I was hugging the mysterious guest who just entered my house moments ago, without a word spoken. Through my blurry eyes, I saw Pleuvoir running out of the kitchen and up the stairs.
After the embrace, I spoke at last. "I'm so happy to see you again my son. Please forgive me," the tears still running down my cheeks. "No mum, I'm the one who has to apologize and I hope you are willing to forgive me," he spoke with a voice so smooth and low. "I shouldn't have ran away from home after dad left us. I was stupid and foolish to do such a thing without thinking," he continued.
"I was afraid to come home when I heard about Sean's death. It's my fault mum! I should have stayed and taken care of my baby brother, I..." I stoped him there before he could finish talking. "Forget about the past. I have never blamed you for anything. All I ever wanted was for you to come back." I looked into his beautiful green eyes and saw pearly beads of tears falling down his cheeks.
For a moment, we just stared at each other but broke into laughter when Pleuvoir came running into the kitchen with his toy gun and Gooner the dauchshund at his heel.
~The End~
Okay... Maybe its not that good but its still the finest I've done. At least thats what I'm trying to believe lol. But it has got to be better than my other really outrageous essays that I've posted in my friendster blog before. Well, hope whoever that read this enjoy... And thanks for taking the time to read... :)
Sunday, December 20, 2009
All I ever wanted to be...
What I'm about to write are my dreams that I know I might never achieve now cause there is no fucking college in Malaysia that can help realise my dream! Chef was a choice! I had no other options but to take it since I certainly can't endure 2 more years in school and the course is the only thing that was affordable and reachable.
All I ever wanted to be was a Zoologist or any career that involved studying animals. Thats my passion in life and is the only thing that I can do best! I went to Sciece Stream and got tortured there is just because of my dream, but because I'm in Malaysia, there is no fucking way possible I can ever reach it unless I went to overseas that would cost a fortune. I wanna learn, study and care for animals. Instead, I'm cooking dead animals. I find that very ironic but some animals are ment to be food source and farmed animals does not hurt the ecosystem if properly managed. I wanna spread the word of conservation just like Steve Irwin, the guy who inspired me the most. It would have been a wonderful dream to meet him and it has always been my dream to meet him. Sadly, he left this world too early and it silently killed me inside to know that the world has just lost a wonderful legend who was a hero to those who can't speak and didn't really matter to the majority of the people of the world.
I want to build animal shelters, programs that would educate people on how to be responsible pet owners. Where is the love people??? Love makes the world go round but it seems as if money makes the world go round, and that is a fact.
When it comes to animal facts, I could remember them in a heartbeat except when Its about their weight, speed and those physics stuff. I'm more into Biology, how they move, react, why do they have those behaviours and speacial abilities. Out of the three science subjects, I got A1 in Biology. Physics, a B4 and a very predictable C5 in Chemistry.
I find it hard to organise my priorities. I feel like I'm being pulled far far away from this dream of mine and it hurts terribly. I can't remember the animal facts I used to remember anymore, I seem to be wrong all the time and I find it hard to pull myself back together. I always wanted those big huge animal books that had facts and everything in it but was always too expensive. My parents just wouldn't spend that much money on me by buying that book. In fact, my parents don't really support me with this dream of mine. My mum aspeacially would not invest on something that won't make alot of money and that was why my last and only option was to take Chef training.
I always thought I would do really well cause I want to be a famous celebrity chef. Of course its for the fame and money but for a good cause. I want that fame and money to do great things! To realise my dream! Spread the word of censervation, build or sponser animal shelters, promote free range and make the world a safer future for our children! With money, I can travel! With fame, I can promote something better and hope people would receive the message and do something for a change! I want to do so many good and yet people hate me cause I'm trying to be good?
It's so hard to be myself and not feel good about it when people only like the lie. The placebo that make things good all the time but lies are lies. Depression can really wipe out someones creativity and self confidence, and make it go EXTINCT.
Whenever I fail, I feel horrible cause I'm being pulled away from my dream further and further. I'm trying my best here and yet I can't do it? I suck at socialing I know! I never thought that would affect me the worst! All I wanted was support. I want it more than anything in the world right now. I know that I will never loose hope in my dream and will pursue it anyway possible! I will NEVER GIVE UP on it! Never! Cause it MEANS THE WORLD TO ME.
All I ever wanted to be was a Zoologist or any career that involved studying animals. Thats my passion in life and is the only thing that I can do best! I went to Sciece Stream and got tortured there is just because of my dream, but because I'm in Malaysia, there is no fucking way possible I can ever reach it unless I went to overseas that would cost a fortune. I wanna learn, study and care for animals. Instead, I'm cooking dead animals. I find that very ironic but some animals are ment to be food source and farmed animals does not hurt the ecosystem if properly managed. I wanna spread the word of conservation just like Steve Irwin, the guy who inspired me the most. It would have been a wonderful dream to meet him and it has always been my dream to meet him. Sadly, he left this world too early and it silently killed me inside to know that the world has just lost a wonderful legend who was a hero to those who can't speak and didn't really matter to the majority of the people of the world.
I want to build animal shelters, programs that would educate people on how to be responsible pet owners. Where is the love people??? Love makes the world go round but it seems as if money makes the world go round, and that is a fact.
When it comes to animal facts, I could remember them in a heartbeat except when Its about their weight, speed and those physics stuff. I'm more into Biology, how they move, react, why do they have those behaviours and speacial abilities. Out of the three science subjects, I got A1 in Biology. Physics, a B4 and a very predictable C5 in Chemistry.
I find it hard to organise my priorities. I feel like I'm being pulled far far away from this dream of mine and it hurts terribly. I can't remember the animal facts I used to remember anymore, I seem to be wrong all the time and I find it hard to pull myself back together. I always wanted those big huge animal books that had facts and everything in it but was always too expensive. My parents just wouldn't spend that much money on me by buying that book. In fact, my parents don't really support me with this dream of mine. My mum aspeacially would not invest on something that won't make alot of money and that was why my last and only option was to take Chef training.
I always thought I would do really well cause I want to be a famous celebrity chef. Of course its for the fame and money but for a good cause. I want that fame and money to do great things! To realise my dream! Spread the word of censervation, build or sponser animal shelters, promote free range and make the world a safer future for our children! With money, I can travel! With fame, I can promote something better and hope people would receive the message and do something for a change! I want to do so many good and yet people hate me cause I'm trying to be good?
It's so hard to be myself and not feel good about it when people only like the lie. The placebo that make things good all the time but lies are lies. Depression can really wipe out someones creativity and self confidence, and make it go EXTINCT.
Whenever I fail, I feel horrible cause I'm being pulled away from my dream further and further. I'm trying my best here and yet I can't do it? I suck at socialing I know! I never thought that would affect me the worst! All I wanted was support. I want it more than anything in the world right now. I know that I will never loose hope in my dream and will pursue it anyway possible! I will NEVER GIVE UP on it! Never! Cause it MEANS THE WORLD TO ME.
Feels so good to hurt so bad...
Ok... I know I'm being EMO but I don't care anymore! Being one is not wrong at all! Actually being one makes one stronger only in a different and hard way, but stongest among all! We are the noble dark knights (not batman) but something like dark fallen angels trying to get their wings back.
Everytime I'm pushed to a point where I think I might be having a mental break-down like how I'm feeling now, I would find the need to write it all out aspeacially in my blogs.
I have absolutely no idea what is wrong with me this few days. I just have this feeling of sadness and refuse to talk to anyone eventhough it was my best friend that I thought I could talk all day and all night with, just like the times before. I just couldn't and I felt guilty for doing so.
For the whole day today, I've been sitting in front of the telly, on the rocking chair and watching movies as well as other programs that I thought was interesting. I just couldn't do something else. Then, I felt this urge to cry for no reason at all-which I did a few moments ago. I just don't know what my problem is. I'm kinda lost and lonely eventhough I'm home and my parents as well as best friends are here. Yet I feel so isolated from everyone in the world.
Sadness sucks but yet I'm reluctant to let it go. Why am I being like this??? Missery is my companion and somehow owned me in a way. Have I fallen in love with pain and sadness cause everything that happens around me seems to give me nothing but pain and missery! It met me in school and now has followed me to College. Everywhere I go seem to give me nothing but it!
I met a guy that made me happy for awhile and I thought for once, the world has showed me that there are still good decent people out there but it didn't last long. In the end the guy himself became another source of unhapiness to me. I know I'm seen as the freak, crazy, unsociable, dark and hatefull person. I didn't choose to be like this okay! I was changed into that monster thanks to people who don't like to read a book that does not have a shiny, glossy and beautiful cover! If you don't know me then you certainly do not have the right to judge me and see me as that horrible mask you all just put on me.
Everytime I'm pushed to a point where I think I might be having a mental break-down like how I'm feeling now, I would find the need to write it all out aspeacially in my blogs.
I have absolutely no idea what is wrong with me this few days. I just have this feeling of sadness and refuse to talk to anyone eventhough it was my best friend that I thought I could talk all day and all night with, just like the times before. I just couldn't and I felt guilty for doing so.
For the whole day today, I've been sitting in front of the telly, on the rocking chair and watching movies as well as other programs that I thought was interesting. I just couldn't do something else. Then, I felt this urge to cry for no reason at all-which I did a few moments ago. I just don't know what my problem is. I'm kinda lost and lonely eventhough I'm home and my parents as well as best friends are here. Yet I feel so isolated from everyone in the world.
Sadness sucks but yet I'm reluctant to let it go. Why am I being like this??? Missery is my companion and somehow owned me in a way. Have I fallen in love with pain and sadness cause everything that happens around me seems to give me nothing but pain and missery! It met me in school and now has followed me to College. Everywhere I go seem to give me nothing but it!
I met a guy that made me happy for awhile and I thought for once, the world has showed me that there are still good decent people out there but it didn't last long. In the end the guy himself became another source of unhapiness to me. I know I'm seen as the freak, crazy, unsociable, dark and hatefull person. I didn't choose to be like this okay! I was changed into that monster thanks to people who don't like to read a book that does not have a shiny, glossy and beautiful cover! If you don't know me then you certainly do not have the right to judge me and see me as that horrible mask you all just put on me.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
My other blog... Food-T Fans...
Hey... Just wanna tell you guys out there that read my blog that I have created another blog which I now share with my two best frens... Here is the link, check it out... :)
http://punkdog711rsvp.blogspot.com/
http://punkdog711rsvp.blogspot.com/
Risen Phoenix...
At last! I got to spread my wings wide and fly my way to FREEDOM!!! I burst into flames and rise high above the ashes of past failures... I am the Risen Phoenix!
Haha... I'm done with my theory exams!!! At first I thought I was gonna do kinda terrible in them since all I did was last minute studying, but somehow, I found all my theory exams easy and smooth... I did my very best and I just hope my results meet my expectations. Just wanna thank my buddies that help me, had group studies with me and treated me like a fellow human being.
I'm home in Taiping!!! Now I know how true the saying is that there is no other place like home. I love huggin my darling dog Johnny, being around my family and MY ROOM!!!
Since the hostel are gonna have spring cleaning, we were all required to put all our stuffs in boxes or plastics with our names written on it. I started packing at 1am+ and stoped at 4am+ cause I was too dam tired. My parents said they were gonna reach my hostel at 1pm, so I decided to wake at 10am and continue packing. However, my mum had other plans due to her one night insomnia. I found myself waking up at 9am and be told by my mum that she was on her way to my place and was gonna reach around 10am. Of course I didn't get to pack all my stuff in time before they reach but I guess my mum must have been in a good mood cause I didn't get the usuall nagging from her.
Ok, I didn't really got away from her naggings, she did nag me bout one thing and that was about the amount of stuff that I was bringing home to Taiping. I think I took home 10 bags filled with stuff. Lol... After my parents cram the Myvi with my bags, I bid my fellow housemates farewell and its off to Lunch in Pulau Tikus and home after that.
At last! I'm home in Taiping! Everything feels sane again cause I'm acting a lil insanely happy lol! It's been years seen I've felt this way again. Even when I knew I was in really deep trouble by getting a fish bone stuck in my throat, I could still laugh about it and at the thought of me dying due to it or living with that bone stuck in my throat till I die. Haha! I tried everything from caughing it out, sticking my finger down my throat and swallowing food. Everything failed! In the end, I just got a torchlight and I saw the bone sticking in my throat. I gotto let the news out of the bag and my mum pulled the bone out with a pair of chopsticks. Haha! Strange enough, we all laughed at the situation.
All in all, I'm very happy today. It has really been such a long time since I've felt this way. I suddenly have this Christmast spirit for no reason and somehow been awarded with little pleasures such as twilight on MTV and my dad addicted to a mandarin drama series I bought. Tomorrow is another new blank page that needs to be written or read... Only time would tell...
Haha... I'm done with my theory exams!!! At first I thought I was gonna do kinda terrible in them since all I did was last minute studying, but somehow, I found all my theory exams easy and smooth... I did my very best and I just hope my results meet my expectations. Just wanna thank my buddies that help me, had group studies with me and treated me like a fellow human being.
I'm home in Taiping!!! Now I know how true the saying is that there is no other place like home. I love huggin my darling dog Johnny, being around my family and MY ROOM!!!
Since the hostel are gonna have spring cleaning, we were all required to put all our stuffs in boxes or plastics with our names written on it. I started packing at 1am+ and stoped at 4am+ cause I was too dam tired. My parents said they were gonna reach my hostel at 1pm, so I decided to wake at 10am and continue packing. However, my mum had other plans due to her one night insomnia. I found myself waking up at 9am and be told by my mum that she was on her way to my place and was gonna reach around 10am. Of course I didn't get to pack all my stuff in time before they reach but I guess my mum must have been in a good mood cause I didn't get the usuall nagging from her.
Ok, I didn't really got away from her naggings, she did nag me bout one thing and that was about the amount of stuff that I was bringing home to Taiping. I think I took home 10 bags filled with stuff. Lol... After my parents cram the Myvi with my bags, I bid my fellow housemates farewell and its off to Lunch in Pulau Tikus and home after that.
At last! I'm home in Taiping! Everything feels sane again cause I'm acting a lil insanely happy lol! It's been years seen I've felt this way again. Even when I knew I was in really deep trouble by getting a fish bone stuck in my throat, I could still laugh about it and at the thought of me dying due to it or living with that bone stuck in my throat till I die. Haha! I tried everything from caughing it out, sticking my finger down my throat and swallowing food. Everything failed! In the end, I just got a torchlight and I saw the bone sticking in my throat. I gotto let the news out of the bag and my mum pulled the bone out with a pair of chopsticks. Haha! Strange enough, we all laughed at the situation.
All in all, I'm very happy today. It has really been such a long time since I've felt this way. I suddenly have this Christmast spirit for no reason and somehow been awarded with little pleasures such as twilight on MTV and my dad addicted to a mandarin drama series I bought. Tomorrow is another new blank page that needs to be written or read... Only time would tell...
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